Learn to Love Yourself

You know how we get bombarded with information on a daily basis?  Well, I've managed to cull a lot of the lower priority news and views that pop up in my inbox.  One that I'm keeping, though is www.lifehack.org.  Each weekday I get an email with a number of brief, punchy lists or articles and there's always one that resonates.  Here's todays.

Darin Hammond wrote the article and quotes Gala Darling about radical self-love.  Why is self-love important to people who struggle with eating, weight and emotions?  Well, its about the MOST important topic - if you don't love and care for yourself how will you improve your health and well-being.  Its not alright to bargain that you will love yourself once you're slim, or once you've conquered binge eating - because it won't happen.  You are working against yourself with that mindset.  

The last week of my e-course (yes, I know: the 50 year project that is still not finished!) is all about self-esteem and self-compassion.  

I love the reference to "superpowers".  They are important enough and critical enough to our well-being to be defined that way.

Here's the Lifehack article.  By the way, Gala Darling can be found on Youtube.

10 Superpowers You Gain As You Learn To Love Yourself

FEBRUARY 10 BY DARIN L. HAMMOND

So, you aren’t perfect, and you have flaws. Do you realize that seven billion other humans fit this same description?

You must find a way to love yourself: mistakes, regrets, weaknesses, and all. You are valuable and important, and to be happy you must discover a path that leads you to love yourself.

You Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Love Yourself

Even genius historical figures like Abraham Lincoln moved past failures to accomplish the extraordinary. Lincoln as an entrepreneur drove several businesses into the ground. He even claimed bankruptcy twice and was severely beaten in more than 25 campaigns for elected positions. His heroism and genius obviously were not hampered by his failures. Lincoln came to a point where he accepted who he was.

What Self-Love Means

Perfection is not necessary to love yourself or to achieve success, although most of you expect it of yourselves. Psychology Today explains that:

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic.

You grow to love yourself by behaving in positive ways that help you physically, psychologically, and spiritually. You can’t let failure or imperfection keep you from growing love for yourself.

This is a complicated psychological skill that you absolutely have to master through practice: loving yourself, without exceptions or qualifications.

Superpowers Develop As You Love Yourself

When you learn to love yourself, life will improve dramatically. Oh, you won’t be perfect or flawless, but you will acquire “superpowers” that will make your weaknesses trivial. Self-love empowers you with the mental toughness to accomplish your dreams and conquer any obstacles.

As you begin to love yourself, your life falls into place, and you design your life around events that make you healthy and happy. The 10 superpowers below build on each other and create a new you:

1.    Using mindful practices such as meditation, you accept yourself and you value your existence. Exercises and activities where you care for your body and mind help you to love yourself. They also provide additional mental and physical health benefits such as reduced stress and increased stamina. Mindfulness means that you are conscious of the present moment, and you love yourself, regardless of the chaos that might surround you.

2.    With mindfulness, you begin to care about and satisfy your physical, psychological, and spiritual needs. You will take better care of yourself, finding health and peace. This increases your capacity to succeed in your environment at home and work. Your needs are met, so you are able to work efficiently.

3.    As you work and give to others, you develop respect for yourself as a valuable individual within a community. You see the interconnected relationships that you have with other people. Both independent and cultural respect are important to progress. You see yourself as a great person who has a lot to offer a community that you value.

4.    These changes push you toward the growth and maturity that are necessary to be a healthy, functioning adult. Think about all you have gained: all the superpowers that make you stronger, powerful. You find yourself taking on new and challenging tasks and pushing yourself to develop the talents you possess.

5.    With maturity comes competence, which means that you increase your capacity to accomplish difficult tasks. Your respect, maturity, and love increase your potential to perform beyond what you thought possible. You are able to do more, and perform better than in the past. The tasks are not easier, but your ability to perform competently is empowered.

6.    As you prove to yourself that you can act competently in the world, you acquire self-confidence, a knowledge that you can handle whatever obstacles you might confront. Confidence enables you to encounter greater independence and the power to act.

7.    Competence and self-confidence make security for you and your loved ones possible, a necessity for a happy adult life. You feel secure as a human being, and you know that you can provide for your family.

8.    You have moved to an advanced level of human development where you can feel empathy for other human beings in your community and the world. This is a tremendous power to sense and feel the emotions of others. You further connect with the people around you because you understand them better.

9.    When you feel the emotions that others experience, their pain and pleasure, you learn how to love someone else. Empathy draws you close to people, making it possibly to truly know them. You love other people because you care about their emotional wellbeing and happiness. You are now looking outside yourself to other people, an essential step.

10. Directing your love from your centre outward to the world, you find the secret that all humans search for. Loving and serving other people gives you fulfillment and makes happiness possible. You act out of love for yourself and others, and at this point you can accomplish anything you desire.

Awesome superpowers, right? They are well worth the effort.

A Tedx Talk by Gala Darling titled Radical Self Love shows what is at stake in loving yourself, especially for women. Darling vividly describes the superpowers of self-love that can conquer depression and hopelessness.

Darling’s radical self-love illustrates how desperately you need to learn to love yourself. Happiness arises from consistently loving yourself, unleashing your full potential for Lincoln-like genius and innovation. Humans possess no greater power.

You can do this. You were made for it.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-superpowers-you-gain-you-learn-love-yourself.html

Weight Stigmatization.

Just because average weight people have the misconception that overweight people are lazy, stupid and lack self-control, doesn't mean you have to buy into that myth.  And yet it persists.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the use of food to control mood is a coping strategy.  It is not a character flaw or a personality defect.  

The researcher quoted in the article below, Professor Brenda Major, says that "the stigma attached to being overweight is devastatingly unhealthy at a psychological level." 

If you told someone 50 times a day that they were stupid, eventually they would believe it.  Let's all stop being the most critical person in our lives - and ignore those who rate us (at our work or even in the street).  It does the opposite of what we want it to.  Loving kindness is the answer.  Be compassionate to yourself and you will eliminate one of the main causes of your emotional eating - self-stigmatization.

Messages designed to encourage weight loss may actually have the opposite effect

If you're one of the millions of people who count losing weight among their top New Year's resolutions, you might want to pay careful attention to some new findings by UC Santa Barbara psychology professor Brenda Major.

It turns out that the weight-stigmatizing messages presented by the media - the ones that characterize overweight individuals as lazy, weak-willed, self-indulgent and contributing to rising health care costs - may be tipping the scales in the wrong direction. Designed to encourage weight loss, they may actually have the opposite effect.

According to Major's research, which appears in the online issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when women who perceive themselves as overweight are exposed to weight-stigmatizing news articles, they are less able to control their eating afterward than are women who don't perceive themselves that way.

Using young women as their test subjects (because, as a group, young women are particularly vulnerable to issues related to weight stigma), the researchers asked half of the participants to read a mock article from The New York Times titled "Lose Weight or Lose Your Job." The other half read a similar article, "Quit Smoking or Lose Your Job."

"The first article described all real things we found in the media about different kinds of stigma that overweight people are facing in the workplace," said Major, a faculty member in UCSB's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences.

After reading the articles, participants were asked to describe them via video camera to someone who was unfamiliar with the content. A 10-minute break followed, during which the women were ushered into another room and asked to wait for the next phase of the experiment to begin. Available to them in that room were a variety of snacks, including M&Ms and Goldfish crackers.

The snacks were pre-weighed, and every participant was offered the same type and amount, and remained in the room for the same amount of time.

In the final phase of the experiment, each participant was asked a number of questions, including how capable she felt of exercising control over her food intake. "People might think the overweight women who read the weight-stigmatizing article would eat less than the others," Major said, "but they didn't. As we predicted, they actually ate significantly more than the other women in the study. And afterward, they acknowledged feeling significantly less able to control their eating.

"Many people who are overweight feel helpless to control their weight," she continued. "Our study illustrates that articles and ads about the obesity epidemic that imply it's just a matter of self-control can make overweight people feel even more helpless and out of control of their eating."

Major's current study builds on her earlier research demonstrating the negative effects overweight women experience when they are put into situations in which they fear being stigmatized because of their weight. In that study, each participant was asked to give a talk - which she believed was either audiotaped or videotaped - on the qualities that make her a good date. Major and her colleagues found that the overweight women who thought they were being videotaped had greater increases in blood pressure and performed more poorly than the others on a subsequent cognitive measure of self-control than did others in the study.

"Our first study showed that being worried about being stigmatized because of your weight can decrease your self-control and increase stress" Major said. "And two big contributors to overeating are stress and feeling out of control. Thus, we predicted that exposing people who think they are overweight to messages emphasizing the stigma overweight people experience could actually cause them to eat more rather than less. And this is just what we found."

One finding in the current study that surprised her, however, was that women who didn't perceive themselves as overweight and who read the "Lose Weight or Lose Your Job" article subsequently reported feeling significantly more in control of their food intake afterward. "This may partly explain why some people who've never had an issue with weight and feel in control of their eating think that weight stigmatizing messages ought to cause people to eat less," Major said. "For them, these messages have that effect. But for people who don't feel in control of their eating, these messages have the opposite effect."

She suggested that messages related to weight loss would be more effective if they focused on good health and exercise rather than on weight and body mass index (BMI). "There is good evidence that BMI at very high levels is unhealthy. But people who are in the slightly overweight category actually live longer," said Major. "A recent paper published by the Centers for Disease Control that summarized the results of many studies reaffirmed the idea that people who are slightly overweight tend to live longer than those who are thin or in the 'normal' weight category. That information doesn't get much publicity, though."

Focusing on weight and BMI can do a tremendous disservice to people who are in a constant battle with their scales. "More than 90 percent of individuals who lose weight gain it back in two years," Major said. "There's so much biology involved and so many metabolic factors that it's difficult for almost everyone to lose weight and keep it off. Once people become heavy, their metabolism changes and the reward centers in the brain function differently."

Major argued that the stigma attached to being overweight is devastatingly unhealthy at a psychological level. "People are literally dying to be thin," she said. "When you have such a focus on weight and people saying they'd take 10 years off their lives in exchange for being thin, or young women saying they'd rather lose an arm than gain weight, it shows an incredible amount of fear."

Major's current research is supported by a three-year grant from the National Institutes of Health to study weight stigma and its paradoxical and counter-intuitive effects. Next, she plans to look at the impact of weight stigma on changes in the stress hormone cortisol.

(This article appeared on Medical News Today website on 13/1/14)

The Biggest Loser - part deux...

How can someone lose 12 kilos in a week?  Dehydration?  Cutting off a limb?  Well, it seems that the word week has quite a fluid meaning, according to the Biggest Loser.  And a former contestant emphasises that it is, indeed, a game with drama, underhanded tactics and a big cash prize at the end.

Andrew 'Cosi' Costello tells his story (see below).  His sad opinion is "I would say that about 75 per cent of the contestants from my series in 2008 are back to their starting weight."

And one of his most sensible statements is "But the show doesn't address the reasons why people like me are so obsessed and addicted to eating excess amounts of food; it doesn't get to the root of the problem."

So the verdict:  The Biggest Loser is entertainment and a strategic money-making game, nothing more.  The weight loss should not be looked upon as something that you could do if you only had the willpower.  Thanks, Cosi, we now have it from the horse's mouth.

What is your opinion about The Biggest Loser?  Come on - share!

Former Biggest Loser contestant Andrew 'Cosi' Costello reveals the truth about the weight loss show

·        FEBRUARY 07, 2014 1:16PM

Andrew ''Cosi'' Costello and image of his former self during the 2008 Biggest Loser finale. Source: Supplied

ANDREW 'Cosi' Costello was a contestant on the Biggest Loser in 2008. As controversy rages over the dramatic weight loss of US contestant Rachel Frederickson, Cosi reveals his experience on the show.

Frederickson was crowned the winner of the US version of the show earlier this week after she lost a record-breaking 60 per cent of her total body weight.

Jaws dropped when the 24-year-old unveiled her thin, 105-pound (47kg) frame during the live finale, which aired in the US Tuesday night - a drastic change from when she first appeared weighing 260 pounds (118kg).

Frederickson's 155-pound (71kg) weight loss landed her $250,000 in prize money and also the title of the tiniest US Biggest Loser winner in history.

Today, Cosi writes exclusively for news.com.au about what contestants really have to go through on the hit Channel 10 show:

"The day I flew off to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser, my wife cried at the airport.

I returned more than four months later to discover that she had fallen pregnant the night before I left. So when I got out of the Biggest Loser house, I'd lost a heap of weight and she was carrying a heap more.

Four-and-a-half months is a long time to go without reading a paper, watching TV, driving a car or using money. In fact it's very similar to being in prison, except the inmates are fatter.

When it was the Christmas break, the crew and producers all took 10 days off. Everyone left, everything stopped. So while they enjoyed Christmas with their families, all the contestants sat in the White House with a security guard and supervisor.

We were not allowed to leave the house and we only got five minutes each to call our partners on Christmas Day (we only got to speak to our partners three times during the whole series) It was a very sad and depressing 10 days, but I signed up for the TV show so I can't really complain.

You probably think we spent all day everyday working out in the Biggest Loser house. Wrong. No one ever worked out for more than two and a half hours a day. You really can't do much more than that if you're training hard.

Biggest Loser cops a lot of bad publicity about what they do to the contestants. People need to remember that we signed up for a TV show and that's exactly what it is … a TV show.

They want the drama, the tears, the fights, the tears, the triumphs and the tears. Producers would push you to cry because that's what makes good TV. They continually asked questions like "Do you miss your kids?" Needless to say, I broke down more than once.

The only thing that really disappoints me about the Biggest Loser is the length of time between the weigh-ins. Have you ever wondered how the contestants manage to lose a staggering 12 kilos in a single week? We don't. In my series a weekly weigh-in was NEVER filmed after just one week of working out. In fact the longest gap from one weigh-in to the next was three and a half weeks. That's 25 days between weigh-ins, not seven. That "week" I lost more than nine kilos. I had to stand on the scales and was asked to say the line, "wow, it's a great result, I've worked really hard this week". The producers made sure that we never gave this secret away, because if we did, it created a nightmare for them in the editing suite. The shortest gap from weigh-in to weigh-in during our series was 16 days. That's a fact. The thing is, overweight people get inspired by watching the Biggest Loser. They get off the couch and they hit the gym. But after a week in the real world, some people might only lose 1kg so they feel like they've failed and they give up.

That's where the show is misleading. You need to remember it's a TV show, it's not all real. In fact, not even the scales we stood on were real.

What was real was the passion and kindness shown by trainers Michelle Bridges and Shannan Ponton. These two regularly came in on weekends to take us for extra sessions and they legitimately cared about each of us. They are very good people.

The Biggest Loser finale was an interesting event. I like to tell people it's similar to giving birth … it was long, drawn out and painful. The filming for the final episode took 12 hours. Before going on stage, there was a person behind the scenes whose job it was to help gaffer tape any "flabby" bits of skin. There's a tip for brides to be, nothing makes your tummy look thinner than tightly wrapped gaffer around the body. I refused to use the gaffer tape, but most of the other contestants had their stomachs and arms taped tight.

I would say that about 75 per cent of the contestants from my series in 2008 are back to their starting weight. About 25 per cent had had gastric banding or surgery. I sit in the middle somewhere. I lost 50 kgs, but have put 25 kgs back on since the show and my lifelong battle with weight continues. Anyone can lose weight in a controlled environment; I'd say it's almost impossible not to lose weight on the Biggest Loser.

But the show doesn't address the reasons why people like me are so obsessed and addicted to eating excess amounts of food; it doesn't get to the root of the problem. If any TV producers can work that out let me know, I'd love to go on your show!

You can read more about Cosi's weight loss battle, stories on marriage and fatherhood and his travels around South Australia on his Facebook page.

This article appeared on www.news.com.au  

The Diet Game

The team at the Pritikin Center have done it again!  Love their work  (www.pritikin.com).

They have created a sort of snakes and ladders game illustrating the fatal flaws in typical low calorie diets.

I've put the image below, but it is too big for me to include here effectively, so here is the link to it.

https://www.pritikin.com/your-health/health-benefits/healthy-weight-loss/1845-losing-diet-game.html

The object is to NOT play this game but follow a reasonable, healthy, satisfying eating program which leads to permanent weight loss.  I know I'd rather lose fat than water, and definitely not lose muscle mass.  What sort of diet game have you been playing???

The Biggest Loser.

I have long held the opinion that The Biggest Loser is predominantly about ratings and not about the people who participate.  It is, after all, a game - who can lose the greatest percentage of body weight wins the money.

And I'm not alone.  Louise from Treatyourselfwell.com.au has blogged about the negative impact of TBL and her insights caught the attention of The Age.  I direct you to her important communication here.

http://www.treatyourselfwell.com.au/blog/the-biggest-loser-ararat-is-a-recipe-for-disaster/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+treatyourselfwell%2Ffatchat+%28Fat+Chat%29

Here's a quote from her original press release.  "Louise Adams, a clinical psychologist specialising in weight issues, says “The link between socioeconomic status, poverty, oppression and prejudice with higher body weights is well established, and these links remain even when people’s eating and exercise habits are taken into account. It’s very worrying that these complex issues which deserve attention have been reduced to chasing temporary weight loss for entertainment’s sake”. (My emphasis)

Lets think about this.  Who is permanently benefiting from this program?  The television station, advertisers and the presenters.  Who may TEMPORARILY benefit - the participants.  And who gets shouted at and shamed - the participants.  

Our value as human beings is not based on our weight.  Perhaps the compassion and understanding of the presenters is blinded by the dollar signs in their eyes.  What do you think?