I have a client who will remain anonymous. We shall refer to him as Mr Big (I could have been more creative but, hey, I'll focus on blog content instead of coming up with a cooler alias!)
And I do mean big. He has been a morbidly obese man for most of his life. He has had a variety of interesting occupations over the years but during his time as a taxi driver Mr Big was able to eat whenever and whatever he liked by simply driving to the food. After topping out the scales at 200kg he just kept growing. Eventually, he had to give up work due to his size. And then he had to give up going outside because of his size. And then he had to give up walking around, then sitting as a result of his size. He has become confined to his flat and only gets out for an occasional hospital admission (also related to his obesity) Mr Big requires assistance to shower and perform most activities of daily living.
As an added complication, Mr Big suffers from massive lymphoedema (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lymphedema). This incredibly large swelling due to lymphatic blockage affects his ability to balance and stand as well as transfer from his bed and walk. Mr Big spends almost all of his day on his bed, resting on the side not affected by the lymphoedema to reduce the pain. He has no clothes that fit him at present.
As there are limits to the capacity of scales he is not quite sure what his highest weight was, but it may have been up around 370kg. (No, that's not a typo.)
We met about 18 months ago when his social worker contacted me for some specialised counselling in the area of eating, weight and emotions. Oops, sorry, I forgot: men don't talk about emotions - just eating and weight! Our first few meetings (for him I was happy to make house calls) were challenging to say the least. A lot of resistance (psychologist-speak for a client being bolshy and argumentative) and his declaration that change was up to chance.
But, after a while and another hospital visit, he got it. That sense that his destiny was up to him. He finally started to focus on the causes of obesity, not just the obesity itself. And when you start focusing on the causes, you start to realise that this is the best area in which change can be made.
"If it is to be - it is up to me" (quotation from William H Johnsen)
Mr Big, this talented writer, musician (and sometimes cantankerous so-and-so) FINALLY realised that his thinking and behaviour was the main obstacle to his survival and well-being.
The fantastic new is that nowadays we need to refer to him as Mr "Not So Big". Over the past year he has lost a WHOPPING 60kg. (No, that's not a typo) The obstacles involved cannot be overstated. Housebound, on a low income, barely able to move due to lymphoedema, intelligent but bored (and boredom is very strongly linked to emotional or non-hungry eating,) socially isolated, unwilling to ask for help, etc. etc. etc.
You may wonder to yourself "what was he eating all those years" - but the real question should be "what was eating him"? The use of food to control mood is an EXTREMELY common coping strategy. And we live in an "obesogenic" environment - cheap, fast, processed food is EVERYWHERE and easily accessible - it'll even come to you.
My (metaphorical) hat is off to you, Mr Big. CONGRATULATIONS! You have turned your life around and you're heading in the right direction after decades of pain and suffering.
And get this, he is now studying for a bachelors degree - online. And before the end of the year, I hope to see Mr Big sitting on his sofa - for him that's as much an achievement as someone else climbing Everest.
Think about what you can take from the story of Mr "Not So" Big:
- perseverance is everything,
- a change in thinking MUST be accompanied by a change in behaviour,
- its never too late,
- remember to get out of your own way,
- life is really worth living
- don't be afraid to ask for help
- work on the causes of overweight and that will help take care of the weight
What else can YOU think of that's a take-away from this inspiring story? Put those little grey cells to work and get as much as you can out of this story. Lets get some comments going to inspire each other.
And here's a nice picture of another Mr Big for your viewing pleasure (sorry, but I don't take my camera to client sessions!)
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