Happy New Year

7 hours to the end of the year.  Who feels really bloated and sick of rich foods?  Who is working on their list of  resolutions - is it about a mile long and full of all or nothing statements?  Probably!

I will pass on advice from an expert - Steven Covey.  He can say it much better than I can.

My wish for all of you is to be as kind and compassionate to yourselves as you are to other people. Whether in relation to self-esteem, body weight, eating behaviour or just in general.

Here's what Steven says:  (sorry that he says it really narrowly - I don't seem to be able to fix it.)

                                                                                                                                                           

Seven Strategies for Highly Effective New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner.  It’s likely that at least one person will ask you what your resolutions are for the year ahead. Whether you like to make them or not, research has found that people who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. Yet as you know, it’s not so easy to keep your resolve as life returns to normal and your old habits of mind and action start testing your resolve and pulling you away from the new ones you resolved to create.

Change is difficult, yet as hard as it is, everyone has the ability to make and keep meaningful changes in their life, regardless of their age, or how well worn their habitual ways of engaging in the world.

Indeed there’s a science to success when it comes to achieving goals and making life changes – whether on January 1^st or any other time of year.   On the link below are 7 strategies to help you make the changes you want in the year ahead – including making the right resolutions to begin with. I hope you will read it, but more so, I hope you will apply them so that 2013 will truly be the best year of your life. Not because everything will go as you want, but because you be firmly at the helm of your own life – living by design rather than by default.

7 Strategies for Highly Effective New Year Resolutions. 

1.   Know Your Why.  For a resolution to stick, it has to be aligned with your core values. We all want to  look better or get richer, but your resolutions have to go beyond superficial desires and connect with what truly matters most to you. In other words, you have to “Know your why” and feel truly passionate about the goals you set for yourself. If you don’t, then when the going gets tough or your alarm goes off at 5:30am, you won’t have the resolve to stick to your plan.  Connect your resolutions to those things that give you a deeper sense of purpose and align with your core values. When your resolutions connect to a deeper sense of purpose, it compels you not to think small or play safe, but to dig deep and stay the course when the going gets tough – no matter how many hurdles.

2. Be Specific.   Resolutions to ‘eat better, get fitter, be happier, relax more or have better life balance’ are doomed for failure because they lack specificity. The more specific you are, the more likely you will be able to succeed.   Describe your goals and resolutions in ways that allow you to track your progress and measure your success. For instance, if you want to build a better relationship with your partner, schedule at least one date night per month, or, as I’ve done with my husband, one weekend away – sans  kids – per year. Likewise if you’re committed to a better health and exercise regime, schedule how many workouts you’ll fit into each week.

3. Don’t Just Think It, Ink it!  A Stanford University study found that when people wrote down their goal, it increased the probability of them achieving it by over 70%.   But don’t just write down the specific goal, write down how you will feel when you’ve accomplished it.  When you have finished penning your desires, jot down on sticky pads the words that inspire you most about your goal and put them around your home/office to remind you of why you are committed to doing what it takes to bring your goal into reality.

4. Design Your Environment.  Never underestimate the power of your environment to support or sabotage your success.  Design your environment so that it’s hard NOT to do what you resolved.  Create a progress chart, recruit a cheer squad among your family and friends, find someone to hold you accountable, hire a trainer, join a group, create a blog.  Likewise, if there are people or things in your life that pull you down or off track, address them directly and set whatever boundaries you know you will need up front.

5. Narrow Your Efforts.  Trying to do too many things at once can make you so unfocused that you just bounce around like Tigger on Red Bull, not quite sure which direction you are going. Set yourself up for success and start with JUST ONE MAJOR UNDERTAKING come January 1^st.   Then break that goal down into small bite size steps.  Small steps, strong start!

6. Focus On The Process.  It’s easy to get caught up in an initial wave of enthusiasm, only to come crashing down when your initial efforts don’t produce immediate and amazing results. So focus on the process itself, and develop greater competence of the actual activity, habit or skill you want to acquire.  For instance, if you want to become more fit, focus on being able to jog a little bit further every time you go for a walk, rather than being able to run 5 miles within a week. PERSISTENCE ALWAYS PAYS OFF.

7.  Forgive Your Failures. Your setbacks and failures will not define your success in the year ahead or any year. HOW YOU RESPOND WILL. If you happen to mess up, lose your resolve, press the snooze button or revert to a familiar well-practiced behavior, don’t beat up on yourself. Okay, so you didn’t get to the gym like you’d planned.  How about 5 minutes of stretching?  When it comes to slipping up and tripping up, you are in good company. It happens to everyone. Just don’t let your mishaps, setbacks and failures mean more than they do.  Reflect on the lessons they hold, make adjustments accordingly, then tap your inner John Wayne and get back in the saddle. Life rewards those who work at it.

Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition

I'm watching this program as I blog.  Whilst I understand this is not a documentary, its a reality show, I'm troubled by the format.  The formula for the program is that a morbidly obese person has help to lose a large amount of weight over a 12 month period.  In order to make it "watchable" there has to be a crisis.  On this most recent show, it appears that the contestant's husband is getting bigger as she gets smaller (Interesting...).  She has lost 140 lbs, and is devastated by a 7 lb gain, after her honeymoon.

What do I keep telling you?  All or nothing thinking WILL derail your changes.  If 7 lbs is a failure (especially after one's honeymoon), then how can a 140 lb loss be a success?

What can we all take away from this?   "Extreme Makeover" is entertainment, not education.  Take what you see and put your common sense into the mix.  These are not typical stories.  These are not real stories.  These are designed stories.  Your story is an entirely different thing.  Remember that.  And remember that BLACK AND WHITE, ALL OR NOTHING, POLARISED thinking will derail you more easily than a burger or a pizza.  The goal is lifelong health and wellbeing, 1 kg either way will not mess you up.  Unfortunately, 1 black and white thought will.

Diet IS a four letter word. Or is it???

It is true that restrictive, low calorie dieting can trigger the "famine response" in the body.  This can slow our metabolism dramatically and induce psychological cravings for high density food (i.e. high fat and sugary foods).  Diets are at best temporary because they are an abnormal process, in that once we've lost the weight, we go back to our previous way of eating, sometimes gaining back more than we actually lost.

And diets come in all shapes and sizes.  I did an experiment recently after reading a book supporting the notion of high protein, fat and low/no carbs (both simple and complex) being able to create weight loss.  I ate steak and salad, fish and salad, chicken and salad, pork and salad, eggs and salad, lamb and salad, xxxx and salad for about three weeks.  Despite the consumption of plenty of saturated fats and calories, I did lose a little weight.  What I also lost was the ability to go to the toilet (Number Twos, that is).  And I was bored, and uninspired by eating the same thing all the time.  Towards the end I started craving complex carbs and fruit (which was also banned).  So, technically, the diet was causing weight loss, but at what cost?  And who could do that for a lifetime?  

Speaking of a lifetime....A sustainable, enjoyable lifelong change towards  eating food that supports health and well-being is likely to lead to reduction in weight.

A recent meta-study (i.e. a study of a wide variety of studies) has indicated that reducing total fat calories in what we eat, without reducing overall calories, can lead to weight loss.  So replace fat calories with something healthier and weight loss will occur.
http://www.bmj.com/content/345/bmj.e7666 

It is believed that 70% of overeating is emotional in nature. So find a different coping strategy and weight loss will occur.

Give up dieting per se, and make adjustments to have more control over what you eat (avoiding processed and pre-prepared foods and weight loss will occur.

So a change in diet (rather than being "on" a diet) can result in weight loss.  And hopefully help you to lose that particular kilo for the LAST time.  Under those circumstances, diet is NOT a four letter word.

And if you want to be totally constipated, see above.  (Who are you, you crazy nut!?)

"Should" is a four letter word. No, really.

Apologies for not blogging sooner.  I only write when I have something to say.

Dr Roger Gould wrote a great book called "Shrink Yourself".  He now has a website www.shrinkyourself.com and there is a free weekly newsletter available - I receive it myself because I consider this a trusted site.

I hear a lot of shoulds in my practice e.g. "I should eat less junk food" or "I should be able to control my eating" etc. etc. These shoulds are never motivating and actually lead to the negative emotions that fuel emotional eating.

As Dr Gould says:

"Do you hear a voice in your head that says things like, "you should've exercised today," or "you shouldn't have eaten that?" If so, this week's tip is for you. The word "should" is defined as a word used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions. When you hear the word "should" in your head you can be sure that you're being overly critical of yourself. "Should" is never the best motivation for eating well or exercising. It connotes something that is expected of you but that you don't really want to do. And no one likes doing something just because they "should". So, if you're not going to take right actions because you "should," what else can you use to motivate you? It's better to motivate yourself by viewing eating well and exercising as loving self-caring actions. Remember how empowered you feel when you make those kinds of choices. Don't do the right thing because you "should." Do the right thing because it's what you deserve." (the bolding and underlining is my emphasis) So should you be considering a course of action, I should like to inform you that you should be doing a lot less shoulding, now shouldn't you??!