Dr Roger Gould wrote a great book called "Shrink Yourself". He now has a website www.shrinkyourself.com and there is a free weekly newsletter available - I receive it myself because I consider this a trusted site.
I hear a lot of shoulds in my practice e.g. "I should eat less junk food" or "I should be able to control my eating" etc. etc. These shoulds are never motivating and actually lead to the negative emotions that fuel emotional eating.
As Dr Gould says:
| "Do you hear a voice in your head that says things like, "you should've exercised today," or "you shouldn't have eaten that?" If so, this week's tip is for you. The word "should" is defined as a word used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions. When you hear the word "should" in your head you can be sure that you're being overly critical of yourself. "Should" is never the best motivation for eating well or exercising. It connotes something that is expected of you but that you don't really want to do. And no one likes doing something just because they "should". So, if you're not going to take right actions because you "should," what else can you use to motivate you? It's better to motivate yourself by viewing eating well and exercising as loving self-caring actions. Remember how empowered you feel when you make those kinds of choices. Don't do the right thing because you "should." Do the right thing because it's what you deserve." (the bolding and underlining is my emphasis) So should you be considering a course of action, I should like to inform you that you should be doing a lot less shoulding, now shouldn't you??! |
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