I often hear from my clients that they're "out of control", a "total failure" or think "its impossible for me to change - I've tried". What is true is that it can be difficult to change - but its not impossible - and our very mindset about change can be holding us back.
We worry that if we're not perfect, we are a total failure. One square of chocolate can be seen as a complete disaster. If one square is a complete disaster, then why not eat the whole bar?
Think back through your life. There will be examples of things that you have learned, habits that you have changed, ways in which you've made your life better. No, don't just read this paragraph - think about what you have changed, whether it was to stop smoking or just to stop picking your nose! It probably took time and caused you some discomfort, but you did it.
There are specific techniques for breaking an unhelpful and unhealthy habit like overeating. Check out this article by Lisa Franchi. She talks about replacing bad habits and what will help. One of the key keys(!) is to ask for help - why are we so reluctant to do this? And don't expect yourself to be perfect - if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
The Key to Breaking a Bad Habit.
All of us have bad habits that we wish we don’t have or we wish we haven’t even tried in the first place. But it appears that getting rid of bad habits is such a long, agonising challenge. Nevertheless, it is possible to break a bad habit and replace it with a healthier one. Continue reading to know how.
First of all, you want to know why it is so hard to break a bad habit.
Negative habits such as smoking, eating fatty and sugary foods, and gambling create changes in the neural activity in a specific region of our brain called basal ganglia where habits are formed. This region is also involved in addiction and procedural learning. Whilst it is possible to change or alter these patterns, they are not completely erased in our memory, according to a study by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Thus, just a single stimulus can activate the dormant pattern and reassert itself. So there we go – back into the same bad habit. This is commonly seen among smokers and drug users. Even after intensive rehabilitation, some of them fall back to their habit once exposed to a certain trigger.
We Can Replace Bad Habits
Bad habits can make devastating effects in our quality of life and health. Not only that. It can also waste our time, energy and money. Bad habits also make people engage in violence. Think about those people who have harassed or killed someone whilst under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and those who steal or rob money from others just to get enough money to gamble.
Fortunately, it is possible to break negative habits. The key is not to eliminate it because we can’t. It’s like a scar on our brain. The best way to break a habit is to replace it with a good one.
How do we do this?
First of all, we want to look deeper into the cause of our bad habits. For instance, if you smoke, you want to know what triggers you to smoke in the first place. Many people smoke because they wanted to fight stress and keep their minds alert. That’s what they believe cigarettes do. But the truth is that cigarettes simply cause a spike in the brain’s dopamine levels. As a result, the smoker experiences a temporary improvement in mood. But in the long-run, as your brain becomes dependent on them, your tolerance on cigarettes increases that you don’t experience the same improvement in mood just by lighting up a stick. You may find yourself consuming one cigarette after another to feel ‘relaxed’. This becomes a habit.
If you simply cut off smoking in your life without first finding a better source of relaxation and stress-relief, you increase your risk of having a relapse.
There are additional ways or strategies to break a bad habit. Here they are:
Avoid your triggers. If you smoke when you drink, avoid going to the pub. If you tend to eat lots of cakes, ice cream and sweet treats when you are severely anxious, determine what makes your anxiety levels go up and learn to manage them.
Practice stress-management techniques. Often, we build negative habits, from overspending on a shopping spree to drinking every weekend, as a way to fight stress. It’s a sure thing that we can’t completely avoid stress. Everything can become a stressor – even those things you love. However, it is highly possible to manage our stressors and reduce their impact on our health. There are plenty of proven ways to overcome the effects of stress in our body. These include eating a balanced diet, exercising, having enough quality sleep, meditating, and giving time for relaxing and fun activities.
Surround yourself with positive people. If you’re trying to quit smoking, surrounding yourself with smokers won’t help. But if you spend more time with people who observe a healthy lifestyle, you’ll find yourself adapting to their behaviours.
Find someone to help you. Look for a quit smoking buddy, or encourage your partner to go to the gym with you. They say “two heads are better than one”. When you know someone is there on your side, you’ll find it easier to break a bad habit.
Make a Plan B, C, D, and so on. It’s normal to slip and fall back into your negative habits again and again. Most people who try to break negative habits fail several times before finally succeeding. They key is to never stop trying. Always have an alternative plan. Don’t forget to assess what went wrong with your previous plans so you can formulate the best strategy to break bad habits.
Seek professional help. Counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy are among the most effective interventions for people who want to get rid of bad habits, especially addiction. A professional therapist can guide you all the way towards replacing those negative habits with positive ones.
Perseverance is the key. You may find yourself failing several times. Just don’t give up. You’ll sure achieve success.
