Where has my self-esteem gone - and when is it coming back?

This is the title of Week Six in the Eat THINK and Be Merry e-course, which will be available for purchase soon.  (The fat lady is just warming up her vocal chords in the dressing room - honest!)

The concept of self-esteem has a lot to answer for.  It often makes people miserable because it is based on above-average achievement - and it is impossible for everyone to be above average.  

Overweight people are very sensitive to this "rating self on the basis of achievement". One's entire focus can be "I am unworthy because I am overweight" or "unless I am slim I cannot have higher self-esteem" - but because we think of ourselves so poorly because of the excess weight, we are never likely to lose the weight.  And so we are locked into this cycle of desperation.  

Self-esteem has worn out its welcome and we now say hello to our new friend, self-compassion.  The three basic principles of self-compassion are:

• Mindfulness. This requires noticing the suffering of self/others without avoidance or aversion.

• Kindness. Treating self/others with care and understanding. This also involves active soothing and comforting.

• Common humanity. Seeing the experience of self/others as part of a larger human experience.

 

Does any of this sound familiar? Kindness is the way we treat other people!!!!! Here's a radical concept - WHY DON'T WE START TREATING OURSELVES WITH CARE AND UNDERSTANDING, TOO? 

The article below appeared in The Age recently and was linked to a visit by Kristin Neff who has a great website called www.selfcompassion.org.  Be nice to yourself, go to her site and listen and learn.  Its free and there are many useful tools available.  I'm currently working my way through her book "Self-Compassion" for both myself and my clients.

As the article says - Have Your Own Back.  

http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-art-of-having-your-own-back-20130710-2ppcx.html