Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Learn to Love Yourself

You know how we get bombarded with information on a daily basis?  Well, I've managed to cull a lot of the lower priority news and views that pop up in my inbox.  One that I'm keeping, though is www.lifehack.org.  Each weekday I get an email with a number of brief, punchy lists or articles and there's always one that resonates.  Here's todays.

Darin Hammond wrote the article and quotes Gala Darling about radical self-love.  Why is self-love important to people who struggle with eating, weight and emotions?  Well, its about the MOST important topic - if you don't love and care for yourself how will you improve your health and well-being.  Its not alright to bargain that you will love yourself once you're slim, or once you've conquered binge eating - because it won't happen.  You are working against yourself with that mindset.  

The last week of my e-course (yes, I know: the 50 year project that is still not finished!) is all about self-esteem and self-compassion.  

I love the reference to "superpowers".  They are important enough and critical enough to our well-being to be defined that way.

Here's the Lifehack article.  By the way, Gala Darling can be found on Youtube.

10 Superpowers You Gain As You Learn To Love Yourself
FEBRUARY 10 BY DARIN L. HAMMOND
So, you aren’t perfect, and you have flaws. Do you realize that seven billion other humans fit this same description?
You must find a way to love yourself: mistakes, regrets, weaknesses, and all. You are valuable and important, and to be happy you must discover a path that leads you to love yourself.
You Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Love Yourself
Even genius historical figures like Abraham Lincoln moved past failures to accomplish the extraordinary. Lincoln as an entrepreneur drove several businesses into the ground. He even claimed bankruptcy twice and was severely beaten in more than 25 campaigns for elected positions. His heroism and genius obviously were not hampered by his failures. Lincoln came to a point where he accepted who he was.
What Self-Love Means
Perfection is not necessary to love yourself or to achieve success, although most of you expect it of yourselves. Psychology Today explains that:
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic.
You grow to love yourself by behaving in positive ways that help you physically, psychologically, and spiritually. You can’t let failure or imperfection keep you from growing love for yourself.
This is a complicated psychological skill that you absolutely have to master through practice: loving yourself, without exceptions or qualifications.
Superpowers Develop As You Love Yourself
When you learn to love yourself, life will improve dramatically. Oh, you won’t be perfect or flawless, but you will acquire “superpowers” that will make your weaknesses trivial. Self-love empowers you with the mental toughness to accomplish your dreams and conquer any obstacles.
As you begin to love yourself, your life falls into place, and you design your life around events that make you healthy and happy. The 10 superpowers below build on each other and create a new you:
1.    Using mindful practices such as meditation, you accept yourself and you value your existence. Exercises and activities where you care for your body and mind help you to love yourself. They also provide additional mental and physical health benefits such as reduced stress and increased stamina. Mindfulness means that you are conscious of the present moment, and you love yourself, regardless of the chaos that might surround you.
2.    With mindfulness, you begin to care about and satisfy your physical, psychological, and spiritual needs. You will take better care of yourself, finding health and peace. This increases your capacity to succeed in your environment at home and work. Your needs are met, so you are able to work efficiently.
3.    As you work and give to others, you develop respect for yourself as a valuable individual within a community. You see the interconnected relationships that you have with other people. Both independent and cultural respect are important to progress. You see yourself as a great person who has a lot to offer a community that you value.
4.    These changes push you toward the growth and maturity that are necessary to be a healthy, functioning adult. Think about all you have gained: all the superpowers that make you stronger, powerful. You find yourself taking on new and challenging tasks and pushing yourself to develop the talents you possess.
5.    With maturity comes competence, which means that you increase your capacity to accomplish difficult tasks. Your respect, maturity, and love increase your potential to perform beyond what you thought possible. You are able to do more, and perform better than in the past. The tasks are not easier, but your ability to perform competently is empowered.
6.    As you prove to yourself that you can act competently in the world, you acquire self-confidence, a knowledge that you can handle whatever obstacles you might confront. Confidence enables you to encounter greater independence and the power to act.
7.    Competence and self-confidence make security for you and your loved ones possible, a necessity for a happy adult life. You feel secure as a human being, and you know that you can provide for your family.
8.    You have moved to an advanced level of human development where you can feel empathy for other human beings in your community and the world. This is a tremendous power to sense and feel the emotions of others. You further connect with the people around you because you understand them better.
9.    When you feel the emotions that others experience, their pain and pleasure, you learn how to love someone else. Empathy draws you close to people, making it possibly to truly know them. You love other people because you care about their emotional wellbeing and happiness. You are now looking outside yourself to other people, an essential step.
10. Directing your love from your centre outward to the world, you find the secret that all humans search for. Loving and serving other people gives you fulfillment and makes happiness possible. You act out of love for yourself and others, and at this point you can accomplish anything you desire.
Awesome superpowers, right? They are well worth the effort.
A Tedx Talk by Gala Darling titled Radical Self Love shows what is at stake in loving yourself, especially for women. Darling vividly describes the superpowers of self-love that can conquer depression and hopelessness.
Darling’s radical self-love illustrates how desperately you need to learn to love yourself. Happiness arises from consistently loving yourself, unleashing your full potential for Lincoln-like genius and innovation. Humans possess no greater power.

You can do this. You were made for it.

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